Nothing Ever Really Ends (2016)

In between the releases of the German thriller Nothing Bad Can Happen (2013) and the American music video Nothing’s Ever Wrong (2018), film fests screened the Scandinavian pic Nothing Ever Really Ends (2016). Also known as Ingenting tar noensinne slutt, this skinternational flick features dialogue in Norwegian. Yet whenever the leading man appears in the nude, there’s no need for translation. Under the pen and direction of Jakob Rørvik, the melancholic rom-com follows one dysfunctional relationship on New Year’s Eve, three years in a row. Think of it like a Scandinavian version of When Harry Met Sally (1989). Marius (Arthur Berning) and Ebba (Kristin Jess Rodin) break up on every January 31st, but they always manage to get back together again during the rest of the year. At 23 minutes, this is a short film but that doesn’t mean it can’t make you long in the pants. This is especially the case when Mr. Berning bares his hot bod. We love watching him bone his lover on the floor since the amorous act exposes his sexy back and tight booty. If that’s not arousing enough, Arthur treats us to a view of his balls and peen when he plays electric drums in the buff. Feel the beat! We also get to ogle his package and dripping wet pecs as he gets out of the tub. When the Norwegian Film Institute’s New Paths program opted to back this movie, its members probably didn’t realize they were supporting spank banks all over the world!