Red Sparrow (2018)

Sorry Q, but there's no spy gadget that's ever going to be as effective a tool as the one boys and girls have between their legs. While the Bond movies are not ready to admit it, Red Sparrow (2018) absolutely was. The film follows Jennifer Lawrence as Dominika Egorova, a star ballerina who gets injured and can't support her mom anymore. She's recruited by the SVR (Russian Intelligence) to do some seducing for them, then witnesses the government assassinate a Russian gangster which leaves her the choice of instant execution or becoming a spy. She picks spy and ends up part of the "Sparrow" program, who are crafting experts in sexpionage. After a sex filled boot camp (booty camp?), for her first mission she's tasked with taking down a CIA agent (Joel Edgerton), which has global repercussions. It's all twists, turns, and plenty of international relations in this adaptation of a novel from real life CIA operative Jason Matthews. Matthews claims "Sparrow Schools" were a real place that Russians taught anyone super-hot how to honeypot, but we can't imagine the USA could have won the Cold War with muscular hunks like the ones in this movie, looking to steal state secrets during pillow talk sessions. As the CIA Agent duped by Jen's T&A, Joel Edgerton goes for a swim in his skivvies, showing his very manly body in some very small shorts. But he never goes further than that. Instead, we spy with our little eye the buns on sexy Sergei Polunun who gets his ass beat by J.Law while having sex in a sauna. He must be a real bad boy for her to hit him with the cockblock cold cock like that! Our red sparrow is rock hard when we see David Z. Miller stand naked in front of a class, baring his penis for all to study. We hope class is never dismissed! But the wildest scene in the movie is when the students have to show how little sex means to them by doing it in front of everyone at the drop of a hat. Makar Zaporozhskiy has to make it with Jenniefer Lawrence on a school desk as part of an ass-ignment, then he goes back for more in the shower which lets us see his Russian rod in all its glory. Even a dude claiming to be straight as an arrow would be singing like a canary if he met a spy as attractive as those in Red Sparrow.