The Longest Yard (2005)

At the height of his Hollywood power, Adam Sandler could get just about any film greenlit, which is how we ended up with the remake nobody asked for, The Longest Yard (2005). Based on the 1974 film of the same name starring Burt Reynolds—who has a glorified cameo here—the film stars Sandler as disgraced former Steelers quarterback Paul Crewe, who turns a DUI conviction while on probation into a three year prison sentence. A crooked warden (James Cromwell) uses his connections to get Crewe transferred to his prison so that he can blackmail the former star QB into playing a game against his team of all-star prison guards. Crewe teams up with another prisoner, Caretaker (Chris Rock) to assemble a team of prisoners who could stand a decent chance of beating the guards in exchange for getting time off his sentence. The movie then devolves into your basic Sandler vehicle, with sports cameos galore and lots of lowest common denominator humor that helped propel the film to summer blockbuster status. Perhaps the most disappointing thing about this big budget remake was the decision to take the original R rated premise and make it a more family friendly PG-13. This means we're cheated out of any substantial locker room or shower scenes that would please the fans at Mr. Man. There are plenty of shirtless beefcakes on display in the flick however, like Terry Crews, former professional wrestlers Bill Goldberg and Bob Sapp, along with big boned beauty Joey Diaz! The Longest Yard might just put a yardstick in your jock strap!