The Witcher (2019-2025)

One of a bunch of video game adaptations that were hitting the small screen around the same time, Netflix's The Witcher first came to life in 2019 with real life gamer nerd Henry Cavill starring as the monster hunter Geralt of Rivia. For those of you unfamiliar with the books or the hit series of video games they inspired, Geralt is a jacked and gorgeous but sort of surly dude who makes a living going town to town and killing whatever monster is making their lives a nightmare. But when Princess Ciri (Freya Allen) flees her kingdom as everyone around her is killed, she's told that her only hope is to find Geralt and have him protect her. She has some mysterious powers, so although the supernatural "Witchers" are shunned by most communities, Geralt's the perfect mentor for her. Eventually she'll become a badass and a larger war will up the ante for everyone, but Henry Cavill won't be there to see it to the end. After the third season, his time as Geralt ended as he left the show to do other projects. What a shame, he was great at leaving a trail of dead monsters and broken hearts as the town hopping, bathtub loving cad of a warrior. One of the few actors to ever match their video game counterpart muscle for muscle, Henry is constantly shirtless whether he's lying in bed after a sex session, taking a bath just like in the game, or battling monsters. We never get to confirm that he's got a monster cock, but with all that skin you'll more than get your fill of the gorgeous Mr. Cavill. The humor on the show came from Joey Batey, who played Jaskier, the bard who had the ladies damp and the dudes super hard! Yes, in one of this adaptation's changes to the source material Jaskier is bisexual. You'll be playing your little man-dolin seeing his abs as he gets shirtless to bathe in a lake. What is it about a dude who can sing a song that makes us want to touch his dong? If you're into the older daddy types, there's Graham McTavish scratching that itch while he hangs out without a shirt on, while Royce Pierreson matches him chest for chest during a sex scene. Royce is the best! Don't believe us? Then why would the witch girl he's railing in a cave conjure a cheering crowd to applaud how great at giving her the big O he is? Which one of the men in The Witcher do we want to snuggle with? All of them!