Heaven Help Us (1985)

Do we recommend you watch Heaven Help Us (1985)? Hell yes! Catholics know of the Holy Trinity. Well, this flick — along with 1983’s Class and 1986’s Pretty in Pink — makes up Andrew McCarthy’s “soulful teens” trilogy. Also known as Catholic Boys, Michael Dinner’s R rated dramedy is set in 1965.  After his parents pass away, Boston teen Michael Dunn (McCarthy) must move to New York to live with his grandparents, who enroll him in an all-boys parochial school. While attending St. Basil’s in Brooklyn, Mike tries to impress Father Abruzzi (Wallace Shawn), Brother Thadeus (Donald Sutherland), Brother Timothy (John Heard), Brother Constance (Jay Patterson), Brother Paul (Philip Bosco), and a mysterious girl named Danni (Mary Stuart Masterson). If that’s not challenging enough, Dunn struggles to fit in with the student body. Luckily for us, he and his comely classmates are told to doff their duds for a naked swim class. No doubt, you’ll feel a splash in your pants when you get a gander at the bare chests and nude booties on display. Check out the fab flesh on Mr. McCarthy, Corbett (Patrick Dempsey), and Ed Rooney (Kevin Dillon). Mr. Man is guessing that this coming of age tale may make viewers come! To that end, a dark-haired teen called Caesar (Malcolm Danare) goes the extra mile by exposing his peen, buns and balls when he dives into the water. All hail Caesar! Suffice it to say, these bare boys will most likely get a T&A on their report cards!