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The Beastmaster

The Beastmaster (1982)

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Review

The cult classic film that begs to ask the question... If a muscle bound blonde man with a dutch boy haircut could speak to and control animals, what would he use those powers for?  Well if you answered he'd train ferrets to steal skinny dipping women's clothing while he watched, you answered correctly!  That's just one of the classic moments in this fantasy adventure tale that focuses on Dar (Marc Singer), whose village is decimated by the evil cult leader priest Maax (Rip Torn) who is kidnapping children to sacrifice on top of the pyramid to appease the gods.  While it just so turns out that Dar is in fact the son of the slain king and his adopted village and family kept him hidden from a certain death at the hands of Maax in the fire pits!  So when Dar grows up, he begins to harness his power of communicating with animals and decides that he is going to use his animal friends to take down evil.  Dar travels with a couple of mischievous ferrets, a falcon, and a beautiful black tiger, among plenty of other animals who help him save some slave girls along the way to join his fight.  Now as a full blown beefcake, Dar sees a window of opportunity to take down the bad guys, get his vengeance for the death of his real father and adopted dad too.  Luckily for us, the 80s hunk Marc Singer as Dar, spends pretty much the entirety of the film in a loin cloth, looking about as greased up as a body builder while playing up the camp in a genius tongue in cheek performance!