Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Somewhere in between the time that Austrian-American bodybuilder and businessman Arnold Schwarzenegger made his breakthrough appearance in Conan the Barbarian (1982) and became the governor of California (2003-2011), he starred in the sword and sorcery sequel Conan the Destroyer (1984). Richard Fleischer’s PG rated movie includes appearances by a host of hunks such as André the Giant, Pat Roach, Sven-Ole Thorsen, and Wilt Chamberlain. While playing the title character, Arnold embarks upon a quest to save Princess Jehnna (Olivia d’Abo). Along the way, he encounters wild woman Zula (Grace Jones), evil Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas), god king Zeus (Matt Conner), and the wizard Akiro (Mako). As he struts his stuff, Mr. Schwarzenegger will make you sweat since he looks positively hot donning a little loincloth. If that’s not arousing enough, the topless actor touts his muscular chest. Due to his barely-there-wear, the built babe helped make this flick a box office hit, even if it did pick up a couple of Razzie nominations. Through the years, there were plans to expand the Conan franchise with Conan the Conqueror, The Legend of Conan, and Conan the King. But so far, these projects have failed to materialize. We wish we could say the same for the getups on the comely cast in Conan the Destroyer. Although these guys are scantily-clad and carry sharp objects, they never cut off their material. Instead, this fantasy adventure insists audiences create their own fantasies since it dashes our dreams of seeing substantial dudity. Conan, you are a destroyer!