You and the Night (2013)

The avant-garde erotic drama You and the Night (2013) follows Ali (Kate Moran), her lover Matthias (Niels Schneider), and their trans maid Udo (Nicolas Maury) as they attempt to hold a giant orgy in their remote home. Along for the fornicating ride are their liberal-minded buddies L’Étalon (Eric Cantona), La Chienne (Julie Brémond), L’Adolescent (Alain-Fabien Delon), and the mysterious La Star (Fabienne Babe). Before all the sex kicks in, which it eventually does, the horned-out hosts and their guests must break the ice, so there’s an awful lot of talking about sex, life, and death. Ends up, L'Etalon AKA "the stud" always wanted to be a poet but got stuck with sex work when he went through puberty and ended up with an absurdly long dong. Boo hoo. La Star is famous enough that she's really like the orgy to be held completely in the dark so that nobody recognizes her, but that concept really pisses off La Chienne AKA "the slut" who likes to see who she's doing it with even though she does it with everyone. Meanwhile, L'Adolescent is underage, so soon enough the cops are trying to spoil the fun by breaking in and kicking him out. And as if all those complications weren't enough, it ends up all this sex magic might come along with immortality, too. One would expect a movie about having an orgy to contain a lot of sex, but all we get is a mildly erotic scene with Eric Cantona getting his enormous cock stroked by a tiara wearing Nicolas Maury. While Eric's journey from soccer star to actor is compelling, it's not as interesting as the question of whether that's his hog or not. Ends up, it's a prosthetic, but we're happy to sit back and imagine what it'd be like to spend the night with that thing! You and the Night plus Mr. Man and the huge cock, sounds like one heck of a party!