Titus (1999)

Many literature scholars claim that Titus Andronicus is William Shakespeare’s worst play, but how bad can it be if it includes male nudity? At least, that’s the case in Julie Taymor’s skinematic adaptation Titus (1999). This R rated reboot features Anthony Hopkins as the titular Roman soldier who returns from defeating the Goths only to turn down the emperorship. With a complicated plot involving a revenge attack on Titus’s only daughter (Laura Fraser); the human sacrifice of Alarbus (Raz Degan), son of the Goth queen (Jessica Lange); and lots of added violence thrown into the mix, the real beauty of this surrealist epic is the hunky cast. In other words, the brutality depicted may not be for everyone, but flesh fans won’t be disappointed when they get to see a massive Roman orgy attended by a naked Chiron (Jonathan Rhys-Meyer), Demetrius (Matthew Rhys) and Saturninus (Alan Cumming). Just fast forward to the film’s 01:55:07 mark to admire the collective abs, buns, balls and junk on these bare babes. If that’s not arousing enough, Mr. Rhys-Meyer and Mr. Rhys show off their backs and butts while being strung up. As you can guess, they’re both well hung! The motion picture also includes Angus Macfadyen, Colm Feore, Harry Lennix, James Frain, Kenny Doughty, and nude views of Mr. Hopkins. Yes, even Sir Anthony gets on board with a bit of skin as he reveals his chest and bum in the bath. Rub a dub dub. To paraphrase Mark Antony, “Roman’s, lends us your rears!”