Cold Mountain (2003)

Charles Frazier’s bestselling 1997 novel comes to life in Anthony Minghella’s epic romance Cold Mountain (2003). The period piece follows wounded Confederate soldier William “W. P.” Inman (Jude Law) as he struggles to escape the Civil War and return intact to his beloved Ada Monroe (Nicole Kidman). En route, the dashing deserter faces temptation from a widow (Natalie Portman); shenanigans from a wayward reverend (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and a prostitute (Jena Malone); hospitality from a goat lady (Eileen Atkins); and unwanted advances from horny hillbillies (Jen Apgar, Katherine Durio, and Taryn Manning). Lila (Melora Walters) even hikes her skirt up and waggles her ass invitingly to him. Meanwhile, Ada spends her days waiting for Inman while trying to save her family’s estate with the help of plucky farmhand Ruby (“I despise a floggin’ rooster”) Thewes played by Renée Zellweger in an Academy Award winning turn. When the ladies aren’t dancing with traveling musicians Stobrod (Brendan Gleeson) and Georgia (Jack White), they’re battling the local Home Guard thugs Teague (Ray Winstone) and Bosie (Charlie Hunnam). At night, Ada and Ruby lay in bed reading “Wuthering Heights” and Inman’s love letters which say, “You are all that keeps me from sliding into some dark place.” Mr. Man would welcome a slide into a dark place, so long as it’s attached to Mr. Law. Luckily, the handsome hero eventually hooks up with his honey. Fast forward to the 02:14:45 mark to see Jude’s naked T&A during a roll in the hay. Cold Mountain is hot!