Saturn 3 (1980)

Contrary to what you may assume, Saturn 3 (1980) is not a sequel to films called Saturn and Saturn 2. Instead, it’s a stand-alone British flick directed by Hollywood icon Stanley Donen who made Singin’ in the Rain (1952), Funny Face (1957), Indiscreet (1958), Charade (1963), and Two for the Road (1967). Unlike these cinematic classics, Saturn 3 was a critical miss and box office flop. If that’s not bad enough, it’s pretty skingy too! Set in the distant future, this sci-fi bomb stars Kirk Douglas since Sean Connery and Michael Caine passed on the part. Now, if Mr. Caine refused the role, you know this flick must be a real stinker! Anyway, the plot centers around Adam (Douglas) and his girlfriend Alex (Farrah Fawcett). Together, they run a space station on one of Saturn’s moons. Although isolated, the lovers enjoy their idyllic existence. But all of that changes when creepy Captain Benson (Harvey Keitel) shows up with a psychotic robot. As you can guess, Benson turns out to be a loony on the lam from Earth. The movie’s subsequent chase scenes are as laughable as the dubbed voice on Mr. Keitel. In fact, the cheesy trip through Saturn’s rings will keep you from ever making fun of bad CGI effects ever again. Not surprisingly, this pic picked up three Golden Raspberry Award nominations. Of course, you may feel a Golden Banana when you see Mr. Douglas bare his back and ass, proving Kirk doesn’t just have a dimple on his chin!