Deadtime Stories (1986)

Having an uncle babsysit your kids is never a good idea. Sometimes they pump them full of junk food, sometimes they let them stay up way past their bedtime, and sometimes, like in the anthology flick Deadtime Stories (1986), they tell them a trio of the creepiest horror stories you can imagine. In the film, Uncle Mike (Michael Mesmer) decides to tell his nephew Brian (Brian DePersia) three scary stories based off of old fairy tales in hopes that the kid will stop being so annoying. First up, he tells him all about a guy named Peter (Scott Valentine) who is used as the bait to lure a virgin back to their coven's hideout as part of a resurrection spell, only for him to fall head over heels in love with the babe he picks up, Miranda (Kathy Fleig). Up next is a take on "Little Red Riding Hood" where a woman named Rachel (Nicole Picard) picks up the wrong meds for her granny (Fran Lopate), only to realize that her grandma's medications is a medicine that suppresses her werewolf transformation. Last but not least is a version of "Goldilox and the Three Bears" that finds Goldi Lox (Cathryn de Prume) hanging out at the house of three members of the psychotic Baer family, Mama (Melissa Leo), Papa (Kevin Hannon), and Baby (Timothy Rule). Your meat will be screaming "uncle" with how much you'll be beating it seeing Scott Valentine bare his buns as he hops out of the bath to show off his dripping wet torso. No wonder those witches chose him to lure the virgins. Mr. Man would follow that ass anywhere! His bum and chest are making our nightmares turn into fantasies. Sure, it's terrifying, but at least Scott looked drop dead sexy in Deadtime Stories!