The Piano (1993)

"Best Original Screenplay" Oscar winner Jane Campion’s The Piano (1993) is the kind of period piece that'll tickle your pickle as you watch a fine piece of man meat learn to tickle the ivories! Set in 19th century New Zealand, Harvey Keitel plays George Baines, a retired sailor who has adopted all sorts of Maori customs. Meanwhile, in an Oscar winning performance Holly Hunter plays Ada, a mute woman who comes to New Zealand as part of an arraigned marriage to Stewart (Sam Neill). All Ada has in life is her piano, which she schlepped all the way from Scotland. When Stewart and Ada don't gel, George decides he'll trade her land for piano lessons as a way to get closer to her. But even though their marriage is atrocious, Stewart is a jealous man who won't let some sailor take his new wife away. For fans of pianists with big penises, jump to about the midway point of the movie to when we find Harvey fully nude wiping the piano down. A slow pan of his body stops on his nice, round ass. Later, as he tries to seduce Ada, Keitel goes full native as he exposes his naked body to her. As he walks across the room and sits on the bed Harvey’s lil’ Taxi Driver pops his head up and is on full display. Now that's something to talk about! The movie is soaked with sex and nudity as Baines and Ada begin a torrid affair. In one scene you will feel some thunder down under as we get a full-frontal view of Keitel while he closes a curtain and prepares to get his freak on. All hands are on deck as we see that Harvey is circumcised and his balls are ever the elegant gentlemen leading Harvey on his way to Happytown. Sam Neill doesn't go that far, but he does show his buns while in bed! The Piano smolders with eroticism, but it is Harvey and his pork sword that are the champions of this Skinarifric movie!