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Mr. Man's Best Celeb Penis Bracket

Mr. Man's Best Celeb Penis Bracket

Spring is a time for rain, warmer weather, seasonal allergies, and of course, brackets! Everyone loves a bracket and this year, Mr. Man is treating our loyal readers to a one-of-a-kind bracket experience: Mr. Man’s Best Penis Bracket. We’ve rounded up 64 of our favorite penises from film and television, turned them into GIFs, and put them head-to-head in a winner takes all tournament involving balls that aren’t of the sports variety! So this spring, don’t bust your bracket, bust a nut to these hotties in Mr. Man’s Best Celebrity Penis Bracket!

Special Offer
Champion

Paul Dawson

1st Round March 17-22 Ended
Michael Fassbender 1 92.0% Michael Fassbender Shame (2011)
VS
Willem Dafoe 16 8.0% Willem Dafoe The Dance of the Sphinx & the Chimera (1985)
Harry Lawtey 8 47.7% Harry Lawtey Industry (2020-2024)
VS
Ewan McGregor 9 52.3% Ewan McGregor Young Adam (2003)
Jai Courtney 5 22.5% Jai Courtney The Exception (2016)
VS
Gaspard Ulliel 12 77.5% Gaspard Ulliel To the Ends of the World (2018)
Harris Dickinson 4 49.6% Harris Dickinson Beach Rats (2017)
VS
Robert De Niro 13 50.4% Robert De Niro 1900 (1976)
Jack Reynor 6 40.0% Jack Reynor Midsommar (2019)
VS
Ansel Wolf Pierce 11 60.0% Ansel Wolf Pierce Euphoria (2019-2022)
Daniel Craig 3 34.1% Daniel Craig Love Is the Devil (1998)
VS
Christophe Paou 14 65.9% Christophe Paou Stranger by the Lake (2013)
Mark Ruffalo 7 31.6% Mark Ruffalo In the Cut (2003)
VS
Zach McGowan 10 68.4% Zach McGowan Shameless (2011-2021)
Paul Mescal 2 69.6% Paul Mescal Normal People (2020)
VS
Chris Zylka 15 30.4% Chris Zylka The Leftovers (2014-2017)
Antonio Banderas 1 44.8% Antonio Banderas False Eyelash (1982)
VS
Vincent Gallo 16 55.2% Vincent Gallo The Brown Bunny (2003)
Omar Epps 8 23.0% Omar Epps Conviction (2002)
VS
Christopher Meloni 9 77.0% Christopher Meloni Oz (1997-2003)
Karl Glusman 5 35.1% Karl Glusman Love (2015)
VS
Paul Dawson 12 64.9% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)
Jonathan Groff 4 88.2% Jonathan Groff Twelve Thirty (2010)
VS
Gerard Butler 13 11.8% Gerard Butler Mrs Brown (1997)
Michael Pitt 6 83.5% Michael Pitt The Dreamers (2003)
VS
Jack OConnell 11 16.5% Jack OConnell Mothering Sunday (2021)
Colin Farrell 3 39.0% Colin Farrell Triage (2008)
VS
Eric Balfour 14 61.0% Eric Balfour Lie with Me (2005)
Tom Cruise 7 21.0% Tom Cruise All the Right Moves (1983)
VS
Shia LaBeouf 10 79.0% Shia LaBeouf Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013)
Alexander Skarsgard 2 66.8% Alexander Skarsgard True Blood (2008-2014)
VS
Jaye Davidson 15 33.2% Jaye Davidson The Crying Game (1992)
Ben Affleck 1 71.8% Ben Affleck Gone Girl (2014)
VS
Ewan Mitchell 16 28.2% Ewan Mitchell House of the Dragon (2022-2024)
Joel Kim Booster 8 50.2% Joel Kim Booster Industry (2020-2024)
VS
Chris Pine 9 49.8% Chris Pine Outlaw King (2018)
Henry Eikenberry 5 30.7% Henry Eikenberry Euphoria (2019-2022)
VS
Jesse LaVercombe 12 69.3% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
Matt Bomer 4 72.0% Matt Bomer The Boys in the Band (2020)
VS
Heath Ledger 13 28.0% Heath Ledger I'm Not There (2007)
Tom Mercier 6 64.3% Tom Mercier Synonyms (2019)
VS
Theo James 11 35.7% Theo James The Time Traveler's Wife (2022)
Tom Hardy 3 55.2% Tom Hardy Sergeant Slaughter, My Big Brother (2011)
VS
Colby Keller 14 44.8% Colby Keller High Maintenance (2016-2020)
Javier Bardem 7 10.9% Javier Bardem The Detective and Death (1994)
VS
Max Riemelt 10 89.1% Max Riemelt Sense8 (2015-2018)
Bradley Cooper 2 36.7% Bradley Cooper Nightmare Alley (2021)
VS
Jordan Firstman 15 63.3% Jordan Firstman Rotting in the Sun (2023)
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II 1 54.4% Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Watchmen (2019)
VS
Alex Hassell 16 45.6% Alex Hassell Rivals (2024)
Sebastian Stan 8 64.3% Sebastian Stan Monday (2021)
VS
Jeremy Williams 9 35.7% Jeremy Williams All the Queen's Men (2021)
Adam Demos 5 47.7% Adam Demos Sex/Life (2021-2023)
VS
Patrick Schwarzenegger 12 52.3% Patrick Schwarzenegger The White Lotus (2021)
Josh OConnor 4 69.5% Josh OConnor Mothering Sunday (2021)
VS
Thomas Jane 13 30.5% Thomas Jane Hung (2009-2011)
Juan Carlos Maldonado 6 29.1% Juan Carlos Maldonado The Prince (2020)
VS
Cooper Koch 11 70.9% Cooper Koch Swallowed (2022)
Oscar Isaac 3 33.2% Oscar Isaac Scenes from a Marriage (2021)
VS
Peter Vack 14 66.8% Peter Vack PVT Chat (2021)
Aaron Taylor-Johnson 7 49.4% Aaron Taylor-Johnson A Million Little Pieces (2019)
VS
Barry Keoghan 10 50.6% Barry Keoghan Saltburn (2023)
Drew Starkey 2 36.0% Drew Starkey Queer (2024)
VS
Alessandro Borghi 15 64.0% Alessandro Borghi Supersex (2024)
2nd Round March 23-26 Ended
Michael Fassbender 1 72.2% Michael Fassbender Shame (2011)
VS
Ewan McGregor 9 27.8% Ewan McGregor Young Adam (2003)
Gaspard Ulliel 12 86.6% Gaspard Ulliel To the Ends of the World (2018)
VS
Robert De Niro 13 13.4% Robert De Niro 1900 (1976)
Ansel Wolf Pierce 11 37.2% Ansel Wolf Pierce Euphoria (2019-2022)
VS
Christophe Paou 14 62.8% Christophe Paou Stranger by the Lake (2013)
Zach McGowan 10 46.6% Zach McGowan Shameless (2011-2021)
VS
Paul Mescal 2 53.4% Paul Mescal Normal People (2020)
Vincent Gallo 16 41.4% Vincent Gallo The Brown Bunny (2003)
VS
Christopher Meloni 9 58.6% Christopher Meloni Oz (1997-2003)
Paul Dawson 12 62.6% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)
VS
Jonathan Groff 4 37.4% Jonathan Groff Twelve Thirty (2010)
Michael Pitt 6 68.0% Michael Pitt The Dreamers (2003)
VS
Eric Balfour 14 32.0% Eric Balfour Lie with Me (2005)
Shia LaBeouf 10 58.6% Shia LaBeouf Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013)
VS
Alexander Skarsgard 2 41.4% Alexander Skarsgard True Blood (2008-2014)
Ben Affleck 1 61.5% Ben Affleck Gone Girl (2014)
VS
Joel Kim Booster 8 38.5% Joel Kim Booster Industry (2020-2024)
Jesse LaVercombe 12 70.4% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
VS
Matt Bomer 4 29.6% Matt Bomer The Boys in the Band (2020)
Tom Mercier 6 77.5% Tom Mercier Synonyms (2019)
VS
Tom Hardy 3 22.5% Tom Hardy Sergeant Slaughter, My Big Brother (2011)
Max Riemelt 10 72.6% Max Riemelt Sense8 (2015-2018)
VS
Jordan Firstman 15 27.4% Jordan Firstman Rotting in the Sun (2023)
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II 1 60.1% Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Watchmen (2019)
VS
Sebastian Stan 8 39.9% Sebastian Stan Monday (2021)
Patrick Schwarzenegger 12 28.1% Patrick Schwarzenegger The White Lotus (2021)
VS
Josh OConnor 4 71.9% Josh OConnor Mothering Sunday (2021)
Cooper Koch 11 59.3% Cooper Koch Swallowed (2022)
VS
Peter Vack 14 40.7% Peter Vack PVT Chat (2021)
Barry Keoghan 10 50.0% Barry Keoghan Saltburn (2023)
VS
Alessandro Borghi 15 50.0% Alessandro Borghi Supersex (2024)
3rd Round March 27-29 Ended
Michael Fassbender 1 52.3% Michael Fassbender Shame (2011)
VS
Gaspard Ulliel 12 47.7% Gaspard Ulliel To the Ends of the World (2018)
Christophe Paou 14 61.1% Christophe Paou Stranger by the Lake (2013)
VS
Paul Mescal 2 38.9% Paul Mescal Normal People (2020)
Christopher Meloni 9 27.6% Christopher Meloni Oz (1997-2003)
VS
Paul Dawson 12 72.4% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)
Michael Pitt 6 57.3% Michael Pitt The Dreamers (2003)
VS
Shia LaBeouf 10 42.7% Shia LaBeouf Nymphomaniac: Vol. I (2013)
Ben Affleck 1 25.0% Ben Affleck Gone Girl (2014)
VS
Jesse LaVercombe 12 75.0% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
Tom Mercier 6 61.9% Tom Mercier Synonyms (2019)
VS
Max Riemelt 10 38.1% Max Riemelt Sense8 (2015-2018)
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II 1 49.7% Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Watchmen (2019)
VS
Josh OConnor 4 50.3% Josh OConnor Mothering Sunday (2021)
Cooper Koch 11 44.9% Cooper Koch Swallowed (2022)
VS
Alessandro Borghi 15 55.1% Alessandro Borghi Supersex (2024)
4th Round March 30-April 1 Ended
Michael Fassbender 1 58.5% Michael Fassbender Shame (2011)
VS
Christophe Paou 14 41.5% Christophe Paou Stranger by the Lake (2013)
Paul Dawson 12 62.3% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)
VS
Michael Pitt 6 37.7% Michael Pitt The Dreamers (2003)
Jesse LaVercombe 12 50.3% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
VS
Tom Mercier 6 49.7% Tom Mercier Synonyms (2019)
Josh OConnor 4 44.7% Josh OConnor Mothering Sunday (2021)
VS
Alessandro Borghi 15 55.3% Alessandro Borghi Supersex (2024)
5th Round April 2- 4 Ended
Michael Fassbender 1 47.5% Michael Fassbender Shame (2011)
VS
Jesse LaVercombe 12 52.5% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
Paul Dawson 12 66.0% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)
VS
Alessandro Borghi 15 34.0% Alessandro Borghi Supersex (2024)
Final April 5- 7 Ended
Jesse LaVercombe 12 45.6% Jesse LaVercombe Violation (2020)
VS
Paul Dawson 12 54.4% Paul Dawson Shortbus (2006)

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