Spetters (1980)

Rumor has it that the reason director Paul Verhoeven stopped doing Dutch stuff and started making movies for the USA was because of how much European critics attacked his motocross drama Spetters (1980). With smash hits like Robocop (1987), Total Recall (1990) and Basic Instinct (1992) under his belt, it looks like things worked out for him, even if his racing drama got a bad rap. Spetters, which was a Dutch slang term for "hotshot" that fell out of favor, follows three close-knit Dutch dudes attempting to better their lives through the sport of motocross. There’s Rien, the local motocross-racing champ (Hans van Tongeren), bad boy biker hot shot Hans (Maarten Spanjer), and the son of a preacher man who acts as the team mechanic, Eef (Toon Agterberg). When the trio aren’t kicking up dirt on the racetrack, they're losing themselves in drugs, booze, and frequent trips to a dirty dance club. It’s business as usual until the sexy Fientje (Renee Soutendijk) and her gay brother/national motocross champion Witkamp (Rutger Hauer), move into town. While Fientje has her eye on all three guys, seeing the amateur bike riders as her meal ticket out of her miserable life, one of the dudes has his eye on Witkamp. The movie takes a dark turn when Rien is permanently injured in a biking accident and Eef falls victim to a leather-clad pack of gay dudes looking for some ass, forever changing dynamic of the engine-revving buddies’ friendship. Most of the criticisms towards the movie, which Verhoeven says made him immune to the venom spewed at him after Showgirls (1995), concerned the raunchiness of the flick, which might be why Mr. Man loves it so much. Spetters gets better, thanks to the butt-baring, penis-flaunting scene of sex and violence from Toon Agterberg, Maarten Spanjer, Hans van Tongeren, and Gees Linnebank. Toon, Maarten and Hans are using some mechanical tools to measure their pricks, trying to see whose is the biggest. That'll have you spetting on your hand! We don't know if Hans was the winner, but the blonde babe we see stroking his hard-on seems happy with it! Later we'll see Toon's tush when he's getting sexually assaulted by some butt loving buttholes, while Gees has a much better time getting blown by Ben Aerden. Mr. Man would love to do the double Dutch with these dick-waving dudes! We've never been wetter than after those scenes in Spetters!