Our Staff Picks column is a new addition that takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version has a decidedly nude angle, as we suss out which films from a certain genre with great nudity. This week: erect dicks!
Listen, I know that "erect dicks" is not a genre of films. Well, it is if you are in certain adult video stores and websites. However, at Mr. Man, I feel that it is essential to gather up good films that feature erections because you people deserve a treat. So treat yourself with these delicious dicks showing off their full fervor in feature-length films.
I Am Happiness on Earth
I just love this Mexican movie. You can say that it gives me much happiness to watch all of the nudity in this film from Mexican hotties like Hugo Catalan, Alan Ramirez, and Gabino Rodriguez. They are all yummy, but Gabino REALLY gives me joy for showing his thick pole. Gabino Rodriguez gives the camera a heads-on (LOL) look at his penis when he points his erection straight at the viewer.
Under the Skin
Under the Skin is the 2013 film that gets a lot of attention for showing its starlet Scarlett (Johansson) nude. Sure, that's cool, but that's not really our thing over here. What the film does not get nearly enough attention for is showing actor Paul Brannigan walking around with an upright penis in a dreamy sequence where only his hot bod is in focus.
Shortbus
John Cameron Mitchell directed this iconic 2006 film whose entire point was to turn the audience on and make them laugh and gag along the way. The film examines all kinds of sexual exploits from orgies to gay stuff to sex toys and more. We are even blessed with several different erections, including Adam Hardman's hard cock. Hey, his last name essentially dares the actor to constantly get hard and take off his pants.
The film might be most famous for Paul Dawson's legendary scene in which he attempts - and succeeds at - sucking his own cock.
Goltzius and the Pelican Company
In 2012 Peter Greenway directed this avant-garde biopic about Dutch painter Hendrick Goltzius. The film takes artistic liberties in telling his story, but I really hope that Lars Eidinger's disrobing and getting stunningly hard is real. His penis is at full mast when a woman gives him a handjob. That is one of the hardest, thickest penises that I have ever seen in a film!
9 Songs
This 2004 film from the UK directed by Michael Winterbottom is filled to the brim with sex and nudity. The film aims to take a look back at a sexual relationship that our British scientist lead had with an American student. The film's flashbacks feature A LOT of sex - including, allegedly, real penetration. Kieran O'Brien even gets hard when he lays back and enjoys a sexy foot job.
Do you want to see more hard dicks? Trust me, there are more. It isn't even HARD to find them:
